


We the People

by mamestuck



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2120652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamestuck/pseuds/mamestuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HSWC: AU where Rose & Dave's high school US government class project is to film something about the constitution, but their film is 20 minutes long, shot on grainy hand cranked film, and uses a composition titled "theme from space jam" to express dramatic tension.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We the People

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:13 --  
TT: Dave, have you cast even a passing glance across a calendar lately?  
TT: Noted the indelible passage of time and all of the implications associated therewith?  
TT: Spent a few solitary moments pondering how not only are we a day closer to our inevitable deaths, but that far more pressingly, we have an AP US Government assignment due tomorrow?  
TT: ...  
TT: Dave.  
TT: Dave.  
TT: David Strider.  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:24 --

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 18:30 --  
TG: holy shit woman i go to take a dump and you are blowing up my computer like whoa  
TG: im all like dropping the kids off at the pool and you expect me to forsake my sacred parental duties in order to cater to your every whim  
TG: this is no way to treat your cherished wife and mother of your children  
TG: who are enjoying their swimming lessons and might just make it to the regional swim meet  
TG: if only their father would show a bit more interest in their activities you know maybe pat them on the back once in a while and say 'way to go my little champs and champ-ettes'  
TG: 'i believe in you'  
TG: ...  
TT: Are you quite done?  
TG: yea  
TT: Were you honestly taking a dump for over two hours?  
TG: i might have done a few crossword puzzles  
TG: so sue me  
TT: Not to mention the startling display of not only sexism but, not to put too fine a point on it, 'daddy issues' on rampant display in your latest tirade.  
TG: oh my fucking christ are we working on ap gov or ap psych here  
TG: you get one textbook and think youre the divinely-appointed expert on the subject  
TT: You know full well that I was an expert long before we entered the hallowed halls of secondary academia.  
TT: Plus, the Gods that ordained me with my spectacular competencies in the subject of the human psyche do not take kindly to your referring to Them lightly.  
TG: do you have a point  
TT: Not really.  
TT: ...  
TT: So, should we do this thing?  
TG: guess we'd better  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 18:54 --

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 19:36 --  
TG: sup  
TT: Ah, you have once again decided to grace me with your conversational presence.  
TT: I can only imagine that the last forty minutes were dedicated to the noble pursuit of our shared academic project.  
TG: and how  
TG: i spent a lot of thought towards what soundtrack would really showcase the dramatic tension embodied by the constitution  
<HTTPS://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9FImc2LOr8>  
TT: Oh my fuck.  
TT: I am not wont to use emoticons or playful acronyms indicating my emotional state, but suffice it to say that I am snorting in undignified laughter at the moment.  
TT: LMFAO, if you will.  
TT: Enjoy this rare moment of my appreciating your creative genius, Strider.  
TG: shut up baby i know it  
TT: I am sure the moment will fade soon enough as we continue to apply ourselves to this assignment.  
TG: come on and shoot baby shoot  
TG: come on and slam  
TG: and welcome to the jam  
TG: slam bam thank you maam  
TT: Are you quite done?  
TG: yea i guess  
TG: cant promise i wont bust out with these maddest of rhymes at stochastic intervals  
TT: I would expect no less, honestly.  
TT: Wave your hands in the air if you feel right. We gonna take it into overtime.  
TG: now youre gettin into the spirit  
TT: So. In terms of, you know, actual productive content, I was thinking we could borrow from the 'auteur' film tradition, something like Goddard meets Fellini.  
TG: i got like 45 mins of b&w footage of a raccoon eating a whole sushi tray from the dumpster  
TG: think we could squeeze that in  
TT: Oh, absolutely. The raccoon will symbolize the hedonism embodied by the American lifestyle, as facilitated by that hallowed document underlying our public life.  
TG: i also got some time lapse shit of a crow decaying on the roof  
TG: it gets all swollen with maggots like whoa  
TG: i was gonna put it in a jar but then i said to myself 'no, let nature take its course'  
TG: 'document the process' etc  
TT: I am sure we can find a way to work it in.  
TT: Truly the bloated corpse of a member of the family Corvidae would not be remiss in a film about the US Constitution.  
TT: Would it be too heavy-handed to segue into a metaphor for Southern segregation?  
TT: I am a sucker for puns. I am not proud.  
TG: sound pretty proud to me  
TG: plus of course you know the latin name for crows  
TG: did your eldritch gods teach you that little factoid  
TG: i mean Eldritch Gods  
TG: sorry  
TT: I learned that one under my own aegis, I am sorry to admit.  
TG: so are we gonna get an a on this or what  
TT: I have no doubts on the matter.  



End file.
